Friday 15 November 2019

What’s Another Word for Schlong?: Things I’ve Learned While Writing & Publishing Smut



 CLICK on "Look Inside" to read the Table of Contents

TL:DR – Writing smut is possibly not safe for the average human brain.

This book is intended for entertainment purposes only and will NOT teach you how to be a smut writer. It is NOT a “how-to” book! Sure, there’s likely some decent advice in here, but take everything with a grain of salt and a shot of the good tequila. This is a rambling, possibly tipsy account of my own personal observations, intended only to make you giggle as we open a window into the bizarre world of writing filth, I mean, “erotica” on a regular basis.

Let me tell you:
– Why stock photos are freakin’ hilarious
– Why watching your mouth in public is crucial
– How voice dictation can be maddening
– How dirty, inappropriate thoughts might consume your life
– How acronyms change in strange ways

This is not necessarily for writers, it’s for regular people who want to read something amusing, and are entertained by the writing life. I make no guarantees, but I guarantee this might be the silliest book you find this month. Secrets from a smut peddlar, or possible insane rantings? It’s the price of a cheap coffee to find out.

(If you’re looking for actual euphemisms for the “man dangle”, consult your nearest search engine like a normal person.)

“Lexie’s a total sleaze, she knows what she’s talking about, I’m pretty sure.” ~ Her Bartender
“Damn, she’s still writing that junk?” ~ Her Friends Who Never See Her Anymore
“I love the way Lexie caresses me, then suddenly gives it to me hard.” ~ Her Laptop
“How’s that schlong writin’ going?” ~ Her Best Friend

18+ only, obviously. This book does not contain any sex scenes, but there is naughty language, and likely a @#$! ton of swears.
If you spit coffee on your laptop from this ridiculousness, the author is not responsible. For anything. She’s pretty freakin’ irresponsible overall. No lawsuits for you.
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Look up and to your left for the “Follow this Author” button for updates. For actual naughty books, click on the author’s name. To get on the email list for updates & more, check out LexieRenard.com. Thanks for being one of the cool people who still read.
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Paperback version available. You know somebody who needs to unwrap this on their birthday, don't you?

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081J61P6D

 

 

 

 







Thursday 14 November 2019

Sharing my Submissive Girlfriend: (BDSM Hotwife Erotic Short)




If you truly love your girlfriend, take her to a dungeon party for a strange Dom to enjoy...

Ryan adores his sexy girlfriend and submissive pet, Vicky. But she craves things a bit more rough than he is comfortable with. He surprises her by taking her to a BDSM party where she is used as a spanking demo model for another Master. Edmond then takes her aside to give her precisely what she has been craving – deep, rough, and wild, until she is a puddle of blissed out joy.

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18+ only: This 7,100 word story features explicit smoking hot sexy times, spanking, light bondage.

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0813NPS29






Tuesday 12 November 2019

The Little Minks Minx: (an Erotic Comedy Mystery - Dolly Slutsky Book #3)




Meet Dolly Slutsky. She’s a curvy babe, a female sleuth, and free spirit who loves to put herself out there.

Dolly meets up with her new graphic designer, insisting that he really get to know her intimately before he lays out her business cards. Then she meets Kevin – a new client who has fur coats disappearing from his huge storage warehouse. Dolly will need to get up close and personal with the staff to get to the very bottom of this mystery. She always does her best work with her high heels in the air!

18+ only, vivid sexy scenes.
Note: These sleazy little tales are for cheap floozy amusement, and don’t really need to be read in order.


https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZQXPDP5

Taunting Rachel: (BDSM Training School Book #10)




A spoiled rich girl has fantasied about being a submissive...

Master Paul could tell right away that Rachel had no experience in the BDSM world. But she was so earnest, and so gorgeous, that he decided to take her for a month anyway. She swore that she’d serve him, work hard, and learn. The two of them click physically right away, driving each other completely wild. But in the light of day, she immediately goes back to her regular headspace, earning her a reminder that she’ll need to submit completely for her entire stay.

18+, vivid sex scenes, light bondage, BDSM content.
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Note: Start at the beginning of the series with “Teaching Sierra” or jump right into Rachel’s story now. Each girl has three books of submissive exploration.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZN49Y7P/