Friday, 15 November 2019

What’s Another Word for Schlong?: Things I’ve Learned While Writing & Publishing Smut



 CLICK on "Look Inside" to read the Table of Contents

TL:DR – Writing smut is possibly not safe for the average human brain.

This book is intended for entertainment purposes only and will NOT teach you how to be a smut writer. It is NOT a “how-to” book! Sure, there’s likely some decent advice in here, but take everything with a grain of salt and a shot of the good tequila. This is a rambling, possibly tipsy account of my own personal observations, intended only to make you giggle as we open a window into the bizarre world of writing filth, I mean, “erotica” on a regular basis.

Let me tell you:
– Why stock photos are freakin’ hilarious
– Why watching your mouth in public is crucial
– How voice dictation can be maddening
– How dirty, inappropriate thoughts might consume your life
– How acronyms change in strange ways

This is not necessarily for writers, it’s for regular people who want to read something amusing, and are entertained by the writing life. I make no guarantees, but I guarantee this might be the silliest book you find this month. Secrets from a smut peddlar, or possible insane rantings? It’s the price of a cheap coffee to find out.

(If you’re looking for actual euphemisms for the “man dangle”, consult your nearest search engine like a normal person.)

“Lexie’s a total sleaze, she knows what she’s talking about, I’m pretty sure.” ~ Her Bartender
“Damn, she’s still writing that junk?” ~ Her Friends Who Never See Her Anymore
“I love the way Lexie caresses me, then suddenly gives it to me hard.” ~ Her Laptop
“How’s that schlong writin’ going?” ~ Her Best Friend

18+ only, obviously. This book does not contain any sex scenes, but there is naughty language, and likely a @#$! ton of swears.
If you spit coffee on your laptop from this ridiculousness, the author is not responsible. For anything. She’s pretty freakin’ irresponsible overall. No lawsuits for you.
***
Look up and to your left for the “Follow this Author” button for updates. For actual naughty books, click on the author’s name. To get on the email list for updates & more, check out LexieRenard.com. Thanks for being one of the cool people who still read.
***
Paperback version available. You know somebody who needs to unwrap this on their birthday, don't you?

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081J61P6D

 

 

 

 







Thursday, 14 November 2019

Sharing my Submissive Girlfriend: (BDSM Hotwife Erotic Short)




If you truly love your girlfriend, take her to a dungeon party for a strange Dom to enjoy...

Ryan adores his sexy girlfriend and submissive pet, Vicky. But she craves things a bit more rough than he is comfortable with. He surprises her by taking her to a BDSM party where she is used as a spanking demo model for another Master. Edmond then takes her aside to give her precisely what she has been craving – deep, rough, and wild, until she is a puddle of blissed out joy.

***
18+ only: This 7,100 word story features explicit smoking hot sexy times, spanking, light bondage.

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0813NPS29






Tuesday, 12 November 2019

The Little Minks Minx: (an Erotic Comedy Mystery - Dolly Slutsky Book #3)




Meet Dolly Slutsky. She’s a curvy babe, a female sleuth, and free spirit who loves to put herself out there.

Dolly meets up with her new graphic designer, insisting that he really get to know her intimately before he lays out her business cards. Then she meets Kevin – a new client who has fur coats disappearing from his huge storage warehouse. Dolly will need to get up close and personal with the staff to get to the very bottom of this mystery. She always does her best work with her high heels in the air!

18+ only, vivid sexy scenes.
Note: These sleazy little tales are for cheap floozy amusement, and don’t really need to be read in order.


https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZQXPDP5

Taunting Rachel: (BDSM Training School Book #10)




A spoiled rich girl has fantasied about being a submissive...

Master Paul could tell right away that Rachel had no experience in the BDSM world. But she was so earnest, and so gorgeous, that he decided to take her for a month anyway. She swore that she’d serve him, work hard, and learn. The two of them click physically right away, driving each other completely wild. But in the light of day, she immediately goes back to her regular headspace, earning her a reminder that she’ll need to submit completely for her entire stay.

18+, vivid sex scenes, light bondage, BDSM content.
***
Note: Start at the beginning of the series with “Teaching Sierra” or jump right into Rachel’s story now. Each girl has three books of submissive exploration.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZN49Y7P/






Wednesday, 30 October 2019

The Mysterious Tequila Affair : (an Erotic Comedy Mystery - Dolly Slutsky Book #2)




Meet Dolly Slutsky. She’s a bombshell, a detective, and lady who gets right down to everyone’s business.

Dolly finds a cute hipster to help with her website, and ends up christening the new bed in his micro-condo. Then she meets a new client who is worried his wife might be having an affair, as she comes home smelling slightly of tequila with a special sort of glow. When Dolly trails her, she discovers Tiffany’s version of “ladies night” is far more down and dirty than she expected. When Peter finds out, things get even more heated when he wants to catch her in the act. Things get steamy when they discover Tiffany’s real secret. Should Dolly charge double for a threesome?

18+ only, vivid sexy scenes.
Note: These sleazy little tales are for cheap floozy amusement, and don’t really need to be read in order.


 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZHKW8V4







Elevating Hanna: (BDSM Training School Book #9)





A sweet, timid girl wants to serve her Master and test every limit.

Master James got just what he wanted – a challenge. A submissive who needs more than a sexy little spanking. Hanna wanted to get past fear, so her new Master, a medical doctor, tests her with play piercing to see how she reacts. She loves it, and the leather suspension swing, and everything her sexy Master does with her. Hanna wants James to lose control completely, but he’s still worried she might be too shy or overwhelmed to speak up if she needs to. They devise a reverse safeword, giving them both what they truly need.
***
18+, vivid sex scenes, bondage, BDSM content, light medical play.
Note: Start at the beginning of the series with “Teaching Sierra” or start with Hanna’s story in #7. Each girl has three books of submissive exploration.


 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Z8BXVXB




Paradise Fantasies - Sex Club Secrets - Part 9: (First Time in Public, Wifesharing, MFM)





When a husband wants to watch his wife’s wild encounter...

Greg had been drawing Erica out of her shell and encouraging her to be more adventurous. When she agreed to go with him to a private club, he was thrilled. But when she not only had fun with him in public, but wanted to share herself with two hot, younger men, he was as proud as he was aroused. Erica puts on a great show for herself, her husband, two hunks, and an audience!
***
18+, Sex club, erotic scenes. MFM
Visit the Paradise Fantasies Series Page: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07JDQ8PJB
(You don’t really need to read them in order to enjoy them!)



https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07Z6F7J71